Waluigi's Date
by BurgerLover
Summary: Waluigi has never gone on a date before...today! Find out exactly what happened and why it was worth remembering. It changed Waluigi and his wiggler forever!
1. All Waluigi Needs Is a Babe

Waluigi's Date  
Chapter 1: All Waluigi Needs Is a Babe

It was the eve of sundown when Waluigi was skerking around the princess' castle. As usual, Waluigi tried to get a glampse of Peach or Daisy coming out of the shower. His binoculars pressed to the door, his mouth opened in excitement as he made out the shower curtains being opened in the room he was looking at. "He-hehehe!" He walui'd. The smoke cleared and... A sexy slender... Penis? Waluigi crapped two poisonous mushrooms and they stained his black overall pants a tinted green. "Waaaa-t the fuk!" He waaa'd in anger and semi sadness. He slammed the door down and gazed at the mighty beast he thought was one of the princesses showering. It was Bowser! And apparently he had gotten some plastic surgery because only Giombas have huge horse cocks like that! Waluigi ranned away and slumped outside the castle. Panting, he squiggle fucked the castle to skeet up the roof. He sat on the tip of the castle, penetrating his anus with the spike. Waluigi signed, knowing he would never get babe fucking action. Well, except that one time when he had a threesome with luigi and Daisy, but he was not really included he was the sideshow. Waluigi thought back and remembered what they did that night. He had to balance on his dick and juggle mushrooms while Daisey had sex with Luigi. The more Waluigi thought about it, the sadder he grew; and the smaller his centipenis. He never actually fucked Daisey, he was tricked! Enraged, Waluigi came back to reality. He looked up to the heavens- it was night time now- and he yelled with loud piece lung scream, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT IS NEVER WAAAAALUIGIIIII TIEM WAAAAAAAA!" The "Waaaaa" continued on, and would have for the next 15 minutes if a star bit had no fallen from the sky and landed into Waluigi's mouth, causing him to choke, suffocate and pass out.


	2. Stars are the Answer

Chapter 2: Stars are the Answer... sometimes (unless like sex with dog)

Waluigi woke up startled and flung his ass up to try to save himself from falling onto castle ground- but he was not in castle! Waluigi looked around and found that he was actually in a bed of some sort. "Wa?" He questioned life. Waluigi got out of bed and found a SCARY AS FUCK SHIT DEMON TALKING BEENIE BABIEEE! "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He shrieked, causing the bedroom door to burst down and a babe being revealed. Time slowed down as Waluigi's screams slowly died down. Sexy slow nigga music played, with sounds of Mario fucking peach in the background. "Damn that's tasty!" A nigga from afar could be heard saying. She was quite... Rosalina like... Waluigi slammed to the floor, and embarrassed got up and bowed to her asianly. "Waaa-" he tried to sound flirty. Unfortunately for Waluigi, he has trouble speaking real words. "Oh I am so sorry! I dropped my Starbit and it landed in your mouth. Then you fell down the castle and broke all your bones. You were officially dead, so I had to reconstruct your heart and all of your bones. Waluigi would have broke down and shot himself right there, but he did not hear any of that as he was too busy looking at Rosalina's tits. The star babie demon child slapped Waluigi out of his fantasy and said, "Fufufufur!" Rosalina's eyes grew wide with astonishment. Waluigi shivered, worried the Luma had just told Rosalina what he was doing. Rosalina ripped off her dress and for two seconds was naked. Then she jumped into a full fledged racon furry suit. "OH LUMA! YOU SAID FURRRRRRRRRRRR!" She started orgasming like crazy and she inked star bits everywhere. "I NEED TO FUCK SOMETHING..." Rosalina looked straight into Waluigi's eyes and smiled. 


	3. plz

Chapter 3: plz

Rosalina stared at Waluigi and licked her lips. Waluigi didn't know what to do, what to say, or what to look at, as he had never been fucked ever. He just stood there and opened his arms like the trapeze rope cockle he was. "Waahahaha! It's finally Waluigi's turn to wi..." Waluigi was cut off as Rosalina lunged straight at...Toad. "UGH! I LOVE ANIMALS!" Rosalina moaned and started hacking away at Toad. Waluigi's mouth opened in astonishment and anger. Toad was terrified as he was mentally and physically raeped by Rosalina. Rosalina also took out her iPhone and took a selfie with Toad and uploaded it to her DeviantArt, where all Furries post art. Waluigi pouted, that should be him, not toad! Suddenly a fat raging feminazi dyke came blasting through the walls of Peach Castle. "HI I'M DAISY!" It SCREEEEEEEECHED in Waluigi's ear. Waluigi's face shrank into a walnut size. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Waluigi cried. "YEE HA!" Daisy took out her portable action dildo deluxe(TM) and began furiously pounding it in Waluigi's mouth, which caused intense bleeding and explosions. Rosalina saw this display and stopped angrily. She went up to Daisy. "BITCH! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SHOW YOUR FACEBOOK AROUND ME!" Rosalina angered at Daisy. "HI I'M DAISY!" Daisy trolled while waving her middle finger at Rosalina. Rosalina picked up her Luma and threw it at Daisy. Daisy blasted through the million walls of the castle and died. She ded. But not really lol cuz Luigi safe her. By inserting dildo. "Humph! I showed that skinbag!" Rosalina triumphed in her vocabulary of people who actually fuck people and not animals. "Hehehe..." Waluigi sheepishly laughed, as he was concerned about his new friend. "Hey, let's go back to my place if you know what I mean..." Rosalina beckoned sexily while transforming from a raccoon into a crocodile. Waluigi's boner grew as he walked up with Rosalina and her scary pudgie Asian star babby. 


	4. the store

Chapter 4: the store

Waluigi was pretty ticked off that Rosalina kept dragging him around the mall...making him buy shit for her. However, she would always reward him with a little 2DS cleavage, which wasn't as nice as the 3DS, But for Waluigi, it was better than nothing. then he saw a lot of couples holding hands and walking happily. Why didn't Rosalina do that! "Come on, I want to see this movie!" Rosalina beckoned Waluigi to buy her tickets for The Planet of the Apes 2. Waluigi took out his last remaining gold coins that he stole and bought them tickets. When they entered the theater, there were a lot of people. Then they sat down and the movie started. When the lights got dim, The entire theater took out their gorilla masks and put them on, including Rosalina. Waluigi looked from side to side..."waaaa?" He questioned in a slight panic. Rosalina looked at him, "where's your mask, dear?" Waluigi shrugged his shoulders and said "wa?!" "Ugh." Rosalina slumped in her chair and picked up her Luma. When the movie actually showed the apes, everyone in the theater FURIOUSLY MASTUERBATED TO THOSE MEATY HAWT MONKEY LOVERS. Waluigi's ears filled with the sounds of monkey masturbation! HE SAW Rosalina shoving her Luma up her skirt and making monkey noises. He couldn't take it anymore! He stood up and screamed, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Then he ran out of the theater. Rosalina ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Rosalina asked. "Wawawawawawa!" Waluigi talked vastly. "uh, you out of coins?" Rosalina asked. "Wa." Waluigi looked at his pockets and nodded. "Ugh. Then you're of no use to me." Rosalina picked up her iPhone and called someone. The person blasted through the mall doors in his shiny convertible...it was Donkey Kong! With sunglasses. "Ooo ooo ahh ahh!" Donkey Kong monkeyed at her. "Finally." Rosalina hopped in the car. "WAA!" Waluigi ran up to her car window. "Sorry, Luigi, but I was just using you to buy shit." Rosalina cocked off. "WA WA WA WAAA!" Waluigi angered. "Your name isn't Luigi? It's Waluigi?! Uh...never heard of you...kthxbai!" Rosalina sped off with Donkey Kong out of the mall. Waluigi stood in denial for a while, then slumped over and cried. He had been a side show again! "WAAAAAAHYYYYY?" He cried. The Luma walked up to him. "Don't feel bad, I'm still your friend!" It kawaiied. Waluigi took a good look at it, then started beating the shit out of it. The police didn't like that so they threw him out of the mall. He cried some more, but then..he saw someone. 


	5. Doge you want sum?

Chapter 5: Doge you want sum?

It was a toad. Not Toad, but rather a toadstool species of mushroom. He angrily pointed at it and cursed his species. "wwwwwwwaaaaaaa!" But then the toad hushed him with finger, hailed a taxi for Waluigi, and shoved him into it. It sped off and booted Waluigi cinematically out of the car at some sort of Ice Cream store. Waluigi looked at the store. "igi's Icecream" it read, or at least the letters that were illuminated. It was nighttime now, and it was hard to see. Waluigi went into the store. He needed to indulge in his sadness. The person making ice cream was diddy kong, DK's young brother/cousin/son. "Hmm..." Waluigi thought about it and decided he wasted Chocolate ice cream. "WAHAHAHA!" He laughed. Diddy kong scooped up a waffle and shit into it. "Ooooo eeeeeeee!" He cackled and flung the cone of shit at Waluigi. Waluigi ducked and heard the cone plunk against something behind him. Without looking back, Waluigi cackled in victory "WAHAHAHA!" Diddy kong was not upset. Nor was he angry. Nothing but fear was in his eyes, and Waluigi caught on late. "Wa?" He turned around slowly. IT WAS PRINCESS PEACH! AND THE POOP CONE WAS STUCK TO THE BACK OF HER HEAD! Waluigi saw she had been playing Guitar Hero on the arcade machine in the store, which explained why she had a guitar sling around her and why a guitar was hanging in front of her. Waluigi was admiring her poopy appearance when Peach SMASHED THAT FUCKING GUITAR ON WALUIGI's HEAD! "Waaaa-" he pained and shook. Diddy Kong couldn't resist and shot another shit cone at Princess Peach as she was beating Waluigi. She stopped, and realized her mistake. It was not that scrawny elf fucker, it was that DAMN APE! "ROSALINA AND HER FUCKING FETISH!" Raged Peach. "ALWAYS INTERFERING WITH MY LIFE!" She took the Guitar and broke it in two. Then she cornered the poor little ape and SHOVED THE STICK Part up HIS LITTLE ANUS. Then she crammed the big back part into his mouth and then stuck a ethanization needle into his each of his eyes. Diddy Kong died slowly. Waluigi did not see any of this, mainly because he was beaten the shit out of, but also because he was admiring Peach's ass. "Wammmmmmaaamiaa." Peach did not notice, and leaned over Waluigi as he passed out. 


	6. the streets

Chapter 6: the streets  
Waluigi woke up in an alley with every bone in his body aching. "Wa..." He cracked his back and took a look around. It was clearly still night time, and he was clearly in the bad part of the mushroom kingdom. He saw scary shadows on the brick wall ahead of him. "WAAAA!" He cowered in fear. But then shortly realized it was just a bunch of shy guys. "WEOW WOOWW WOWW!" The Shyguy menaced at Waluigi while offering him some cigarettes. Waluigi looked at the Shyguy and, being the dingle berry douche that he was, kicked Shyguy in the gut. Shyguy fell over. "WAAHAHAHAHA WALUIGI WIN!" He laughed in the way that the scrawny elf rapist from chity chity bang bang laughs. Shyguy slumped over and disappointedly walked over to his WIFE AND FIVE KIDS. Waluigi looked at that. He looked at how weak, poor, and depressed they were...and didn't give no fuck as he cartwheeled out of the alleyway while screaming "WAAAAAAAA!" He landed in the middle of the town square. There he saw Bowser with a ragged scarf and his koopalings huddled around the fireplace. One of them was playing a depressing harmonica. "Here Kootie Pie Wendy O Koopa...I'm sorry daddy couldn't get you the car you always wanted for your 16th birthday, but it's all I could buy with my money." Bowser handed Kootie Pie Wendy O Koopa a mangled piece of garbage. All the koopalings and townsfolk awwwwed at this heartwarming display of poor Bowser's display of affection. Kootie Pie took the mangled piece of garbage, held it close to her heart, then threw it right back at Bowser's face. "DADDY YOU FUCKING IDIOT I SAID I WANTED A FERRARI FOR MY BIRTHDAY!" Kootie Pie RAEGED at Bowser. Bowser cried and the koopalings gasped at her. "UGH! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING A HOBO!" Kootie Pie raged and put on her slutty heels, makeup, fishnets, and thong. "Kootie Pie! Don't you sell yourself on the streets again! Daddy can make up for his past mistakes!" Bowser begged while grabbing her leg. "FUCK OFF DADDY! MY PIMP TAKES CARE OF ME!" Kootie Pie kicked Bowser away and bitchily walked off. Waluigi saw this entire display of disrespect and how the slums of the mushroom kingdom needed help. Then he realized..."WAA!" Why didn't he think of it before? He could pay for sex at your local strip club! Waluigi giddily twirled like the faggot he was and headed for the strip club where Kootie Pie worked. It was managed by King Boo the Pimp, of course. His profits kept the mushroom kingdom in the lavish complexion that it was. Waluigi arrived on the scene of the club. 


	7. Boo

Chapter 7: Boo's Bitches

He saw sexy fishnet legs walking by and eyed them up. "Wehehhe!" Waluigi cheered in victory. He dolphin dived and smashed his face into the lady's legs. He looked up. There was no lady. There was no body. It was a fucking Boo with sexy legs. "WA!" Waluigi shrieked and skidded back quickly. The babe boo was quite adorable. She had red lipstick on, an Ariel red hair, a red bra, and red fishnet legs attached to her. The babe boo saw Waluigi's reaction and made the noise boos make when they scare someone successfully. Waluigi got up and continued walking. He saw lots of Princesses from around the BeanBean Kingdom, Also known as the ghetto mushroom kingdom. They were mostly green skinned fairy like creatures. Waluigi did not like greenies, despite the fact his pants still had that green shit stain in them. Then he saw a beautiful babe, with blonde hair, a pink dress, and..."wah?" Waluigi was looking at Princess Peach! He raced over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to reveal... IT WAS A PRINCESS PEACH WITH A GIANT SHROOB FUNGUS GROWING ON HER TITS AND FACE! Waluigi said nothing and walked away. She was that discontinued trash Princess from Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time. Waluigi walked down the isle and saw PINK GOLD PEACH from Mario Kart 8, but decided he would rather not fuck a piece of metal. All the other babes seemed to be taken, so Waluigi watched a Luikatu perform a strip tease dance. Sulking, he sat in a chair next to a Metal Mario jacking his metal cock off, pouring his aluminum semen into a Metal Baby Bowser's mouth. Then, much to Waluigi's delight, a Rosalina clone from Super Mario Galaxy 1.5 (a modded version) appeared and offered to take Waluigi into a private room. "C'mon big boy! Hmhmhm" (she did her weird demon laugh). Then right as Waluigi was about to enter the private room, the police SWAT ROBOT magnezones raided the club and forced everyone on the ground. "YOU. ARE. UN-DER-A_REST FOR. CHILD MOLESTATION." A magnezone stated while hand cuffing Metal Mario. "ELIMINATE THE PROSTITUTES." The other magnezones understood the command and shot with high precision and slaughtered every last sex worker, except the children, in less than a second. Waluigi fell to his knees and held the bleeding Rosalina clone's hand. She coughed. "Wa...lui..." She tried to speak. Waluigi's elf ears perked up and he came close to her. "Waat is it?" He asked. "I am sorry we did not sex..." She began. "But, if it is any consolation, look in the room to see... *cough*" blood spurted out of her mouth. "What... What... We... Would.. have... done." She coughed more blood, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Waluigi could have said "wa," but he was in no mood to say it. He should be sad his chance at sex was gone, and he shouldn't be horny with a dead body there. But he did not give a fuck. He wanted to get laid. "OOOH YEH!" He blasted the door open- and found nothing but gorilla masks. His hard dick shrunk back into milipenis mode, and he sobbed. "wohooo~" he jeered in sadness. He got himself together and left the club. He had no where to go, no one to fuck. And even if he had the babe he would have been pretending to be Donkey Kong for an hour or two. Did no one love Waluigi? He sulked and put his hands in his pockets. "This can't get any worse!" Then lighting struck and rain started. "Eh." He walked down the street, waiting for something to happen, someone to run into.


	8. Roar

Chapter 8: Roar  
Waluigi sighed and continued walking on, waiting, praying, and hungering. "Wa..." Waluigi sighed a sigh of sadness. Did the world hate Waluigi so much?! He tried to go under cover, but a taxi drove by and splashed sewage water all over Waluigi. "WAAAAAA!" He could not contain his inner angst, as he belted out Wa after Wa until his heart could take no more. A koopaling stood in the background playing his harmonica depressingly. Waluigi took out his iShell TouchMe and started playing Roar by Katy Perry to make himself feel better. Unfortunately, a Shyguy came by and yoinked it right out of Waluigi's hands. That was it. That was the last straw. Waluigi was done with these pieces of shit! He'd show them what for!...the family of shyguys came by and bested Waluigi with a birthday beatdoewn, topping him off with a shit sandwich. Waluigi sighed. "Wa." He closed his eyes...then he heard a really annoyed sounding "WAAAAAAT are you doing?!" Waluigi opened his eyes. He couldn't believe it! It was a short little pudge man who smelled like a hand held garbage disposal system when you clog it up! "W...waa?" Waluigi got up slightly. "Wa." The man replied. "Wa...Waluigi." Waluigi said while extending his hand like Tarzan. "Wa...Wario." Said Wario as their hands touched like in Tarzan. Wario and Waluigi stared at each other for a few brief moments before Wario grabbed Waluigi with his beefy ham arms and smashed his head on the ground. "Wa. Food." Wario dragged Waluigi like a caveman to the Burger Hut, where Koopa Troopas illegally sell Goomba Burgers. Wario bought himself a burger. And sat down to eat it. Waluigi was sitting next to Wario, waiting for him to buy him a burger too. "Waaat the fuck are you waaaaiting for?" Wario finally asked the hungry Waluigi. "Wa..you.." Waluigi was a bit disappointed in his new friend. "WAAAA! I wasn't paying for you idiot!" Wario shoved the rest of the burger in his ass and walked out of the Burger Hut. "WAAA! CHEATER!" Waluigi cried. "WAA?!" Wario angered at this accusation. "I JUST WANTED TO SEE SOME TITTIES!" Waluigi yelled, then gasped, and grabbed his face. He had actually spoken words! "Wa...hot stuff here baby..." Wario lifted his shirt to reveal his extremely stanky, hairy man-breasts that could easily fill up a C cup. Waluigi's milipenis grew to a DECAPENIS at this display of putting out. He lunged at Wario and the two of them tumbled furiously down the hillside while Can You Feel the Love Tonight (C) played in the background. Wario bashed Waluigi with his chodepeniz while Waluigi rectified Wario with his decapenis. Then they shared a stanky sewage herpes kiss while Wario farted, blasting them into the night sky, and then Wario turned into Wario Man. "WAA?!" Waluigi couldn't believe that Wario was a Super Hero! "Actually I bought this at the dollar store..." Wario baffled embarrassingly. Waluigi shrugged and fed his meaty man lover another Goomba Burger. Wario reveled in it as he pooted out another big silent but deadly one, and they gently collided down to the Earth's earth.


	9. Waluigi's First Date (Machina)

Chapter 9: Waluigi's First Date (Machina)

Waluigi woke up in his bed at 6:00am, in his usual nest hidden near Princess Peach's castle. "Waa?" It had been a dream. All of it. He never spoke a word, nor did he fuck or not fuck anyone. But something was different. Waluigi felt better about himself in more than one way. Waluigi seemed to desire something he did not desire before. Was it because of the dream? Quite possibly, but Waluigi did not care. He had a date with the Internet. He sat down at his Windows 95 Computer, went to porn hub and searched for "Planet of the Apes 2." The scene zoomed out slowly as a shadow of Waluigi masturbating appeared. All the while monkey noises could be heard. Waluigi's Date was Banana-Tastic!


End file.
